| SO I havent been on here since december. So much has changed since then. I am not the same person i use to be. I dont know really know how many people are going to read this. I dont live with my mom or my dad. I live with my older sister now. My mom left me and my little sister behind. I have so much anger built up inside against her. Im depressed and upset. I dont see how she can choose a guy over her children. I love my mom but as of right now I really dont know where we stand. Shes my mother and I miss her but I call her all the time. She never returns my phone calls and when she answers she always has an exuse to get off the phone. I miss talking to my mom, seeing my mom, and watching our fav. shows on tv every mondays and tuesdays. I was give the choice to move with her. I get a bad feeling when i am around the guy she is with. The guy controls her. He wont let her do what she wants. She dont even have a car. I just wish my mom wouldnt of chose a guy over her kids. I doubt if it will ever be the same between me and my mom ever again. When she needs my help Im not going to be there. This is the most important year of my life. My last year of highschool and she wont even be there to watch me get my diploma because the guy she is with said she dont need to drive all the way here for stupid stuff like that. I miss my mom. But I dont really see her as a mom. I dont know how to deal with my emotions like this. I really dont have anyone to talk to except for everyone that reads. Ive been praying and God has helped me but hes telling me not to give up on her. She will come around. but she has yet to call and sometimes i do want to give up but I dont because she is my mother. Please keep me in your prayers. |
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| So PR told me i need updates. I have been busy with school and studying for bible quiz that I dont always check this or myspace. I need tons of prayer that I can get my grades up to at least a low C before January 19th. I have never failed this badly in school. I still want to go back to Ag but Lh is ok I just shouldnt of missed so many days thats why im failing really bad I have been in school faithfully for the past month every single day but two. I havent study as well as I should have for bible quiz because of my grades. Im trying to work on getting them up and studying for bible quiz. Im not going to look for a job for awhile until i know my grades are up and good then I will get a job Im not going to stress myself out about it im just going to do my best. I dont like being stressed because life is stressful enough. Not everything is easy. There are alot of complicated things out there. My brother thinks im failing because of my boyfriend but it cant be because i have been with him for a year now and I didnt have a failing grades on my computer last year so its not him. Its just a new enviorment I am still trying to get used to. Its alot diffrent from Albert Gallatin and Im still trying to adjust but no body understands that because all my older siblings but two quit school so there is not much more they would know about adjusting to diffrent schools. They cant even help me with things I dont know or dont understand because they never had it before. its alot of work but it must be done I have been staying after school hopefully that helps me out alot. hopefully I didnt even intend on writing this much I will update more later |
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| everyone thinks about something....its not always about an issue or a problem but everyone thinks....I think alot about my life and why its so great I have God and Will and my family!!! I love God and im in love with him..and he blessed with Will and he treats me great but sometimes I wonder why Im in love with Will when he doesnt call back or we argue or we figt....I love everything about him...he makes me smile and laugh and feel good about myself....we have a bond i never thought we would have...11 months of my life I have given him and we have had our downfalls and issues I never thought we would have there was always just an argument waiting to happen....we try so hard not to argue but we end arguing I just dont know how to stop having arguements I dont know if its normal for us to argue once a week or twice a day...I dont know if its normal or not...I guess its just proves how powerful love can be and God proves that with the love he has for me and everyone else no matter what I do or you do God will always love us and never give up on us |
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| My Grandmother Passed away on 8/7/2006 at 1:20 am. hen we got the phone call that my grandma wasnt going to make it through the night I felt my heart drop. I haventseen her in a year because she lives so far away as soon as we got the phone call we went to the nursing home she looked really really bad and it just hurt to see her like that I miss her more than words can say but she isnt in pain anymore and shes with God and she can be happy and I know that Time will heal my pain but I couldnt say Goodbye to her I didnt want it to be Goodbye I knew this day would come i just didnt know it would be now she always said she would live to see 100 and she only 94 she only had 6 years to go and she would of been 100 it was her time to go home but its just so hard to say goodbye to someone who always hid candy for you and made the best cornbred and mash potatoes I miss her alot but it will get better |
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| so summer is fading by and then theres starting a new school and thinking about the people you will meet....you think about friendships that you dont want to end then you think about new friendships that are going to begin life is diffrent for everyone and everyones lifes not the same some peoples life are good but everyone has there problems I have problems and my sister has problems are they the same problems no we have diffrent views on life and friends and boyfriends and just the diffrent relationships out there I love everyone |
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